diff --git a/modules/lang/scheme/autoload.el b/modules/lang/scheme/autoload.el
index 2b0ddc602..a7489f8aa 100644
--- a/modules/lang/scheme/autoload.el
+++ b/modules/lang/scheme/autoload.el
@@ -1,31 +1,30 @@
 ;;; lang/scheme/autoload.el -*- lexical-binding: t; -*-
 
-;; HACK geiser-* plugins will try to add to these two variables, so it must be
-;;      defined before their autoloads are evaluated. Fortunately, Doom modules'
-;;      autoloads run earlier than package autoloads.
-;; TODO PR this upstream
+;; HACK `geiser' has poor autoload ettiquette. It calls
+;;      `geiser-activate-implementation' and `geiser-implementation-extension'
+;;      in their autoloads files. Sure, these functions are autoloaded, but this
+;;      needlessly (and unavoidably) pulls in the `geiser-impl' package (et co)
+;;      when geiser-X's autoloads are read (i.e. at startup).
+;;
+;;      I rectify this by inlining calls to these two functions (and the
+;;      `geiser-impl--add-to-alist' sub-call in
+;;      `geiser-implementation-extension'), and autoloading the two variables
+;;      they operate on. I do this from our autoloads file (which is read right
+;;      before package autoloads are).
+;; TODO At some point, PR this behavior upstream (but not verbatim!)
 ;;;###autoload (defvar geiser-active-implementations ())
 ;;;###autoload (defvar geiser-implementations-alist ())
-
-;; HACK `geiser-impl--add-to-alist' is autoloaded, but not inlined. This means
-;;      `geiser-impl' is needlessly pulled in immediately at startup when
-;;      geiser-X's autoloads are loaded. Since Doom byte-compiles its autoloads
-;;      file we can avoid this by forcibly inlining the function (by redefining
-;;      it with `defsubst').
-;; TODO PR this upstream
-;;;###autoload
-(defsubst geiser-impl--add-to-alist (kind what impl &optional append)
-  (add-to-list 'geiser-implementations-alist (list (list kind what) impl) append))
+;;;###autoload (eval-and-compile (dolist (sym '(geiser-impl--add-to-alist geiser-activate-implementation geiser-implementation-extension)) (put sym 'byte-optimizer 'byte-compile-inline-expand)))
 
 
 (defvar calculate-lisp-indent-last-sexp)
 ;; Adapted from https://github.com/alezost/emacs-config/blob/master/utils/al-scheme.el#L76-L123
 ;;;###autoload
-(defun +scheme-scheme-indent-function-a (indent-point state)
+(defun +scheme-indent-function-a (indent-point state)
   "Advice to replace `scheme-indent-function'.
 
-This function is the same as `scheme-indent-function' except it indents property
-lists properly and names starting with 'default'."
+This function is the same as `scheme-indent-function' except it properly indents
+property lists and names starting with 'default'."
   (let ((normal-indent (current-column)))
     (goto-char (1+ (elt state 1)))
     (parse-partial-sexp (point) calculate-lisp-indent-last-sexp 0 t)
diff --git a/modules/lang/scheme/config.el b/modules/lang/scheme/config.el
index 46c348ada..dc1357fd4 100644
--- a/modules/lang/scheme/config.el
+++ b/modules/lang/scheme/config.el
@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@
 
 (use-package! scheme
   :hook (scheme-mode . rainbow-delimiters-mode)
-  :config (advice-add #'scheme-indent-function :override #'+scheme-scheme-indent-function-a))
+  :config (advice-add #'scheme-indent-function :override #'+scheme-indent-function-a))
 
 
 (use-package! geiser
diff --git a/modules/lang/scheme/packages.el b/modules/lang/scheme/packages.el
index 70887c517..33cbc1c3e 100644
--- a/modules/lang/scheme/packages.el
+++ b/modules/lang/scheme/packages.el
@@ -1,20 +1,20 @@
 ;; -*- no-byte-compile: t; -*-
 ;;; lang/scheme/packages.el
 
-(when (package! geiser :pin "c5a9aae4d30ea6dbf2d8af4dd1cc35a839686a00")
+(when (package! geiser :pin "2b45bd368b4acbcef53c3c761725241fb6846102")
   (package! macrostep-geiser :pin "8600fca05fd12a2e0ffe63238ddbfcb37c285dac")
   (when (featurep! +chez)
-    (package! geiser-chez :pin "4cb7f2667ea1c53da53f0144910fbbd67bccbf4d"))
+    (package! geiser-chez :pin "03da1c17253856d8713bc5a25140cb5002c9c188"))
   (when (featurep! +chibi)
-    (package! geiser-chibi :pin "54e7f384618c73d8fb675b5289d443a8ee3e4dc8"))
+    (package! geiser-chibi :pin "6f59291d8d1dc92ffd3f53f919d8cab4bf50b7d3"))
   (when (featurep! +chicken)
-    (package! geiser-chicken :pin "47be5b43b35d3bf35b0f668b4c08715ea41fb97d"))
+    (package! geiser-chicken :pin "ceab39c89607f55cba88e5606ba5eb37c7df5260"))
   (when (featurep! +gambit)
-    (package! geiser-gambit :pin "0ee4156640988497779345452c3aa0417356e606"))
+    (package! geiser-gambit :pin "3294c944d1c3b79db44ed14b133129fec454bd60"))
   (when (featurep! +gauche)
     (package! geiser-gauche :pin "66e51430bded0f0e2037f474818a7bbaafb2906c"))
   (when (featurep! +guile)
-    (package! geiser-guile :pin "93ef7101fdfcc7eac6f465b4b9788c384a323c14")
+    (package! geiser-guile :pin "700ac985c1c729ba1005a0a076c683e9f781526f")
     (when (featurep! :checkers syntax)
       (package! flycheck-guile
         :recipe (:host github :repo "flatwhatson/flycheck-guile")
@@ -24,4 +24,4 @@
   (when (featurep! +mit)
     (package! geiser-mit :pin "d17394f577aaa2854a74a1a0039cb8f73378b400"))
   (when (featurep! +racket)
-    (package! geiser-racket :pin "a87fd449cc6c7b0b17a0b08268e78d3f038f3351")))
+    (package! geiser-racket :pin "22e56ce80389544d3872cf4beb4008fb514b2218")))