diff --git a/lisp/cli/autoloads.el b/lisp/cli/autoloads.el
index 2974c7069..b2df97995 100644
--- a/lisp/cli/autoloads.el
+++ b/lisp/cli/autoloads.el
@@ -1,11 +1,10 @@
 ;;; lisp/cli/autoloads.el -*- lexical-binding: t; -*-
 
 (defvar doom-autoloads-excluded-packages ()
-  "What packages whose autoloads files we won't index.
+  "Which packages to exclude from Doom's autoloads files.
 
-These packages have silly or destructive autoload files that try to load
-everyone in the universe and their dog, causing errors that make babies cry. No
-one wants that.")
+Use this for packages with problematic autoloads; e.g. they autoload too much or
+hoist buggy forms into autoloads.")
 
 (defvar doom-autoloads-excluded-files ()
   "List of regexps whose matching files won't be indexed for autoloads.")
diff --git a/modules/email/mu4e/config.el b/modules/email/mu4e/config.el
index 43308a02e..9a3a79417 100644
--- a/modules/email/mu4e/config.el
+++ b/modules/email/mu4e/config.el
@@ -24,8 +24,8 @@
           (expand-file-name ".attachments" (mu4e-root-maildir))))
   :config
   (when (version< mu4e-mu-version "1.8")
-    ;; Evidently the mu4e author has never heard of `define-obsolete-function-alias'.
-    ;; List of suffixes obtained by comparing mu4e~ and mu4e-- functions in `obarray'.
+    ;; Define aliases to maintain backwards compatibility. The list of suffixes
+    ;; were obtained by comparing mu4e~ and mu4e-- functions in `obarray'.
     (dolist (transferable-suffix
              '("check-requirements" "contains-line-matching" "context-ask-user"
                "context-autoswitch" "default-handler" "get-folder" "get-log-buffer"
diff --git a/modules/lang/clojure/config.el b/modules/lang/clojure/config.el
index e88e3ee40..545d1bffd 100644
--- a/modules/lang/clojure/config.el
+++ b/modules/lang/clojure/config.el
@@ -90,10 +90,9 @@
         "Use lsp completion instead of cider."
         (remove-hook 'completion-at-point-functions #'cider-complete-at-point t))))
 
-  ;; Error messages emitted from CIDER is silently funneled into *nrepl-server*
-  ;; rather than the *cider-repl* buffer. How silly. We might want to see that
-  ;; stuff and who's going to check *nrepl-server* on every startup? I've got a
-  ;; better idea: we copy these errors into the *cider-repl* buffer.
+  ;; UX: CIDER's error messages get quietly funneled into *nrepl-server*. That
+  ;; sort of information would be more helpful displayed front and center when
+  ;; opening a *cider-repl*.
   (add-hook! 'cider-connected-hook
     (defun +clojure--cider-dump-nrepl-server-log-h ()
       "Copy contents of *nrepl-server* to beginning of *cider-repl*."
diff --git a/modules/lang/php/README.org b/modules/lang/php/README.org
index af0ca2921..0a6cbb29c 100644
--- a/modules/lang/php/README.org
+++ b/modules/lang/php/README.org
@@ -16,13 +16,10 @@ This module adds support for PHP 5.3+ (including PHP7) to Doom Emacs.
 - [[https://github.com/hlissner/doom-snippets/tree/master/php-mode][Snippets]]
 
 #+begin_quote
- 💡 PHP was the first programming language I got paid to code in, back in the
+ 💬 PHP was the first programming language I got paid to code in, back in the
     Cretaceous period (2003). My sincerest apologies go out to all the
     programmers who inherited my earliest PHP work. I know you're out there,
     writhing in your straitjackets.
-
-    Save a programmer today. Stop a friend from choosing PHP as their first
-    language.
 #+end_quote
 
 ** Maintainers
diff --git a/modules/lang/python/config.el b/modules/lang/python/config.el
index 00218a10b..a807f0097 100644
--- a/modules/lang/python/config.el
+++ b/modules/lang/python/config.el
@@ -57,7 +57,7 @@
   (setq python-indent-guess-indent-offset-verbose nil)
 
   ;; Default to Python 3. Prefer the versioned Python binaries since some
-  ;; systems stupidly make the unversioned one point at Python 2.
+  ;; systems link the unversioned one to Python 2.
   (when (and (executable-find "python3")
              (string= python-shell-interpreter "python"))
     (setq python-shell-interpreter "python3"))
diff --git a/modules/term/eshell/autoload/backport.el b/modules/term/eshell/autoload/backport.el
index f420aa8f7..7e3bfe82a 100644
--- a/modules/term/eshell/autoload/backport.el
+++ b/modules/term/eshell/autoload/backport.el
@@ -3,14 +3,13 @@
 
 ;; DEPRECATED Remove this when we drop Emacs 27 support.
 
-;; HACK Eshell resets its keymap every time `eshell-mode' is enabled. Why? It
-;;      is not for us mere mortals to question! Anyhow, we undo this brilliant
-;;      design by backporting the fix from Emacs 28, so keys can be bound to
-;;      `eshell-mode-map' & `eshell-command-map' like any normal keymap,
-;;      rather than in a hook.
+;; HACK Eshell resets its keymap every time `eshell-mode' is enabled. This is
+;;   fixed in Emacs 28+, but this file backports that fix for 27 users. This
+;;   way, keys can be safely bound to `eshell-mode-map' and `eshell-command-map'
+;;   like any normal keymap, rather than a hook.
 ;;
-;;      Fun fact: there's a "FIXME What the hell?!" above the offending line
-;;      in esh-mode.el.
+;;   Fun fact: there's a "FIXME What the hell?!" above the offending line in
+;;   esh-mode.el.
 
 ;;;###autoload
 (defvar eshell-mode-map